Transforming the Painful Memory ofA Vietnam Veteran
Physiological Symptoms
On December 24, 1964, Bob Norvell boarded a plane in Japan to return to the United States after completing 9½ months of service in Japan.
It was Christmas Eve when he walked off the military base to be reunited with his wife, but something happened that caused him to become angry, and deeply bitter. These destructive emotions continued.
By 1971, he suffered from deep depression and suicidal thoughts. He had a continual desire to fight with someone, but for no apparent reason.
The Painful Memories
As Bob walked off the military base, a group of people were there to meet him. Rather than shouting cheers of gratefulness, they began pelting Bob and and his comrades with rotten fruit and eggs. They were yelling out terms such as, "Baby killers." The bitter emotions that surged within Bob were deep and intense. They became a festering wound in his heart and spirit.
Bob Norvell
The Vietnam War
The Vietnam war lasted from 1959 to 1975. During that time, 58,148 American soldiers were killed; but an even greater tragedy was the high number of suicides among the war veterans who returned. Many veterans, including Bob, became embittered because of the ungratefulness and ridicule they received after risking their lives for their country, for the very people who were reviling them.
1. Seeing God's Perspective
The first thing Bob learned was that his natural inclinations are usually just opposite to God's way of life, as Scripture states, "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death (Proverbs 14:12). Therefore, Bob's response to the lack of gratefulness was just opposite to what it should have been. Rather than cursing them, he should have blessed them with the obvious character qualities that they were lacking.
In 1975, Bob attended a thirty-two hour Seminar in Basic Youth Conflicts. There, he learned principles that transformed his life, marriage, family, and memories about his past military experiences. In order to experience these transformations in his thinking, he had to see life from a totally new perspective.
2. Gaining a Clear Conscience
Since Bob's return from Vietnam, his focus had been on the faults of other people. This caused him to be bitter. However, at the Seminar, he was challenged to list his own faults. Then, to go to those whom he had offended, (even if he was only 5% wrong) humble himself, and ask them to forgive him. When he did this, he experienced a freedom that he had not known before.
Bitterness over the faults of others is usually the result of being guilty of the same faults ourselves. Thus God says, ". . . thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things" (Romans 2:1).
3. Fully Forgiving Offenders
Based on the faults that Bob saw in his own life and the forgiveness he had received from those whom he had offended, he was much more able and willing to fully forgive those who had offended him. Forgiveness was made even easier as he saw the benefits which God intended by allowing the hurts to come.
The ability to forgive other people is based on how clearly we see our own failures. On this basis, we can say, "If God gave me what I deserve, I would not even be alive; therefore, whatever He allows others to do against me is less than I deserve."
4. Overcoming Reprobation
Many other principles from the Seminar captured Bob's attention; to the degree that he applied them to his life, he experienced the transformation of the painful memories. A chart on the development of reprobation was especially powerful to him. It described how our normal physical drives can be stirred up by sensual activities so that they are out of balance with our psychological and spiritual drives. The result is an inability to communicate with God and give or receive genuine love.
When Bob understood this chart, he discovered the cause of his anger and lust. These two stresses are like twins because they are both the result of unrestrained passions. When he took the steps to freedom, he enjoyed a whole new outlook on his life and future.
